Q&A: Gabrielle Bernstein on Career, Life and Empowering Women

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Gabrielle Bernstein has paved her path to success by sharing her life strategies with others. Not your typical self-help guru, she is a life coach and motivational speaker for the next generation. This month Bernstein launches her self-transformational book, Add More ~ing to Your Life – A hip guide to happiness. In her book, Bernstein guides the reader through her dynamic "~ing Equation," a method of sharpening one's intuitive senses and activating untapped inspiration.
 
Here Bernstein answers a number of questions on her life, her career path and how she balances it all.
 
What led to your interest in motivational speaking?
When I was twenty-one I launched my first two businesses. The first was a boutique PR business and the second was a non-profit for female entrepreneurs (WEN Women’s Entrepreneurial Network). As a result of being a young entrepreneur I was often asked to speak on entrepreneurial panels and marketing classrooms at local NYC universities. I loved speaking to students. I’d speak with no outline and riff for two full hours. Public speaking became my passion. At this time I realized that it was my mission to share an empowering message as a speaker.
 
Was it a direct path or did it take some twists and turns before you found yourself where you are now?
After five years of running my PR business and working on WEN I remember saying to myself, “I wish I could work on WEN full time.” All I wanted to do was create a community of like-minded women to support one another. In addition, I knew I had to be a messenger. In 2005 I shifted gears and slowly put down my PR business. I turned inward. Throughout 2006 I was on a self-reflective journey of cleaning house in my mind. I came through this process shining from the inside out. As I grew internally it became clear to me that I had to share my experience with others.
 
To the average person, your success may seem effortless. But that’s rarely the reality. Can you describe some of the struggles you faced, and the strategies you used to persevere?
The reason I turned inward for a full year was because I had bottomed out on the “outside search for happiness.” This is what I refer to as the “when I haves.” I thought, “when I have that next boyfriend I’ll be happy,” or “when I have that new client then I’ll be happy.” None of that worked. In addition, I’d picked up a nasty drug addiction and was equally addicted to the party scene in New York. Consequently, my path was not effortless at all. I had to hit bottom in order to surrender to a spiritual path, sobriety and a full-blown resurrection of my mind. I am incredibly grateful for my bottom and wouldn’t change a thing. It was the catalyst for miraculous change and a rockin life!
 
How do you balance your work and your personal life? (Or don’t you?!)
It’s a lot of work to keep my life in balance. Lately my life is becoming bigger than me. (I’m not complaining! This is everything I’d prayed for.) To stay balanced I have to amp up my meditation. I began the New Year with the commitment to meditate for an hour a day. This hour sets me up to win. It centers me and guides me throughout the day and helps me maintain my connection to my ~ing (my inner guide). When I skip my meditation I’m totally off balance. At which point I sit my butt down on a pillow and restart my day. In fact, I just did that before I wrote this.
 
How do you escape when you need time to get away and relax?
I turn off my phone and take a bath. I also leave the world behind each time I meditate. When it’s warmer out I like to go for walks. Reading, journaling and doing exercises from A Course in Miracles.
 
Where do you see yourself in 10 or 20 years?
I will have my own television show. I’ll have several bestselling books and I’ll be known as the voice of happiness for my generation. I will have taught millions of people the importance of meditation and the miracles that occur when you connect to your ~ing. I’ll be a healthy and happy mother.  
 

What about community service?
For years I served as the President of NARAL Pro-choice NY’s young professional council. Now I am on the board for "1 + 1 + 1 We Got Issues" an organization dedicated to cultivating a new brand of feminine centered leadership and social political activism.
 
Of the pressing issues our nation is facing, is there one in particular you feel strongly about? Any advice to young professionals on how they can get involved?
Women’s rights are at the top of my list. On a national level I encourage young American women to educate themselves on the ongoing debate on health care reform and become clear that one legislator’s vote can have a dramatic impact on our reproductive rights. A powerful resource is the NARAL Pro-Choice America.
 
In addition, I encourage my peers to educate themselves on how women and girls around the globe are victims of sex trafficking, acid attacks, bride burnings and mass rape. This must be top of mind for us today. A great resource for this is the book Half The Sky by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl Wudunn.
 
One way you can become more articulate about global issues, such as women’s rights, poverty and the suffering of children around the world, is to attend Marianne Williamson’s SISTER GIANT conference on the role of women as leaders, which will be held in Los Angeles on February 26 – 28th. Marianne Williamson was one of my mentors before she even knew I existed. She was my first introduction to A Course in Miracles.

 
What was the most fun part of starting your motivational career?
My career is super fun! The best part about it is that I’ve made the most incredible friends. The women I coach and connect to online and through my community www.herfuture.com have become my sisters. They have brought endless joy to my life and inspire me to move forward.
 
Can you describe your vision for "herfuture.com"?
My vision for Herfuture.com is for the site to be the number one online resource for female empowerment. I see it as a global community of like-minded women who support one another and the world through loving intentions. I see this site expanding the lexicon for women throughout the world offering up love rather than fear.
 
What were the most difficult hurdles you faced? How did you overcome them?
I remind myself that all difficult hurdles are opportunities for optimal learning and growth. I turn to my ~ing for guidance and I surrender to the assignment in front of me.
 
Did you ever have a moment in which you doubted your possible success?  
Never.
 
What were the key steps you took to achieve your goal of launching your business?
The first step was to clear out all of the obstacles that stood in my way. For instance, becoming sober and doing major work on myself to relinquish my fears from the past so that I could show up for the present. In addition I’ve found clarity to be crucial. I am comfortable taking the time to get clear on my next move and once I get clarity I can flow. 
 
Who were some other key players/mentors in making it all happen?
My key mentor is author/speaker Joe Watson. He has been by my side from the get-go and continues to look out for me and guide my career (Joe’s new book is Where the Jobs are Now). My mother has always been my guide as well.
 
What is the biggest sacrifice you’ve made to gain your success? Was it worth it?
I’ve sacrificed the luxury of having a drink and letting loose at a party or a bar. I don’t miss it though. The clarity of sobriety is the only consciousness I know.
 
What is the most important lesson you’ve learned and how has it shaped you personally and professionally?
Forgiveness. This lesson has set me free from carrying old resentments into the present moment. Forgiveness has released me of the chains from the past and has set me free for the future.
 
What is the biggest mistake you made?
At times I’ve spoken too soon. I’ve learned over the years to take my time responding to people and making decisions. Nothing needs to happen right away. Patience is crucial.
 
If you enjoyed reading this profile, take a peek at this article on new year's resolutions that include some time for play.